Sutcliffe Enters Big Brother House.

Channel 4 have caused a stir after announcing that this year's Celebrity Big Brother contestants include notorious murderer Peter Sutcliffe.
Sutcliffe, nicknamed 'The Yorkshire Ripper' after killing 14 women in the 1970s, was said to be 'thrilled' by the chance to appear on the top-rated programme. And TV bosses are hoping that he'll spice up the action in the house - with some XXX rated murder!
Channel 4 spokesperson Sexton Cunt denies that the programme will encourage serial killing amongst the shows young and stupid target demographic. 'In no way does Channel 4 condone the practice of beating defenceless women to death with a claw hammer. But this is a show about real life, and in real life these things happen. You can't shirk away from it. If you did you'd be letting down the public in a shameful manner.'
Alan Smegma, Sutcliffe's case worker for the last 10 years, is upbeat about the news. 'I think this is a wonderful chance for Peter to show the world that he's changed his ways. I'll be crossing my fingers when he meets Davina before entering the house, but if he gets through that then I think we'll be fairly okay.'
'Personally, I think he'll enjoy the experience. It'll get him out of Broadmoor and give him a change of scenery. And if we can keep the murdering down to a minimum, say just 3 or 4, then I think we can consider it a job well done.'
Sutcliffe is said to be particularly looking forward to meeting Jodie Marsh. 'I think they'll get on well' says Smegma. 'I gave him a photo the other day and he's really taken to it. I've already caught him masturbating frantically over it and stabbing the eyes out with a stanley knife.'

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